What’s that smell?
It’s Bullshit. Also known as Cheat or I Doubt for the more wholesome ones out there, is more than a game; it’s an experience about calling bluffs, activating trap cards and rising as an epic gamer. The following play session is based on a true story.
The story begins, with a mighty battle. Five of the world’s greatest shit pushers were gathered, they were Natisha Valentine, Kaiba Trinh, Yugi Mercado, Joey Luan Wheeler, and Pegasus Nguyen. Ms. Valentine starts the duel with a single ace. Not to be left behind Kaiba Trinh places one 2 face down and ends his turn. Seeing an opportunity, Yugi Mercado makes a decisive move; a single 3 face down and ends her turn. Kaiba Trinh, an eternal rival of Yugi Mercado, sets out to strike fear into Yugi’s heart but unveiling Yugi’s face down card. Kaiba Trinh’s genius strategy worked, as Yugi was caught in her lie. Joey Luan Wheeler was up next, setting one 4 into play. Undoubtedly inspired by Kaiba Trinh’s brilliant play, Natisha Valentine unveils Wheeler’s card. A bit of Deja Vu as Wheeler is forced to withdraw his card.
A bit of a lull follows, with 5 turns passing without conflict; an eerie silence before the storm. Suddenly, Natisha Valentine challenges Pegasus Nguyen’s play; unfortunately for her, Pegasus Nguyen had placed a trap card face down and Natisha Valentine had triggered it! With that upset behind her, Valentine places two Jacks face down and ends her turn; Kaiba following suit with two Queens. With Yugi Mercado’s turn coming up, Kaiba Trinh once again sought to disrupt her morale; unfortunately for Kaiba, Yugi Mercado had set a trap card, turning the odds back in her favor. Another 2 turns pass as Wheeler and Pegasus place one 1 and one 2 respectively. When Natisha tries to play her 3, Kaiba attempting to reclaim lost honor stumbles into yet another trap, it’s not looking so good for Kaiba.
Not one to sit idle, Kaiba resumes the game with a single humble 4, followed Yugi’s single 5. Not having learned his lesson, Kaiba once again tries to challenge another play; this time, Joey Luan Wheeler’s. Another devastating trap card triggered, Kaiba may not recover from this. With all the commotion from Kaiba’s third failure, Pegasus Nguyen took the opportunity to sneak in his play without being recorded. Valentine sets a confident three 8s on the field, not a single challenger could stand up to that kind of confidence. Kaiba, this time inspired by Valentine’s strategy attempts it for himself; but confidence knows confidence and Kaiba is called out by Valentine herself, dealing yet another decisive blow to Kaiba.
Yugi, sensing her eternal rival’s vulnerability enacts her final move. Possessed by the duel master spirit of her past lives and believing in the heart of the cards, Yami Yugi Mercado plays a Banana, eats it for 100 calories, in order to play Jumping Jacks, which is a Physical type card and with Quarantine already in play gives her 6 Metabolism Boosts, attracting Brain Neuron from her head. Brain Neuron only has 1000 synapses, but by sacrificing Cream Cheese to the Graveyard, Brain Neuron is granted Myelin Sheath which doubles the effectiveness of each synapse effectively granting Brain Neuron 2000 processing power, which when converted into motor actions allows Yami Yugi Mercado to play her last card, winning the game and sending Kaiba Trinh to the Shadow Realm. “N-nani!?!1? Bakanaaaaaa!” Kaiba screams as he is swept away by the undertow into darkness…
